To initiate something is to begin something, so this is the perfect place to start. Initiation is about moving from where you are to someplace else. In this case, initiation is about waking up and remembering who you really are and how you want your life to be.
It's time to reclaim the true you, the "you" that at some level knows that life is about ease and grace. This does not mean life is necessarily easy, for we have all struggled at different times. It is about slowing down a bit, opening your heart and being a little more gentle with yourself and your life.
There is a place inside of you that knows life is more about how you live and less about what you achieve. This book is designed to help you remember what it's like to live your life fully and create what you want. This will help initiate you into completely living that life.
Initiation is not subtle, yet essential and happens to us all at different times in our lives. Most recognizable are births and deaths, weddings and divorces. Sometimes initiation even comes and goes unnoticed or unnamed. Sometimes it's very obvious.
I was in the London Tube with my friend Arlene who is President of the British Association of Women Entrepreneurs. We were stopped in our tracks by a poster advertisement for Nelson Mandela's autobiography. The poster boldly said only four words: "Tribesman, Terrorist, Prisoner, President." Here is a man whose entire life seems to be about initiation.
Joseph Campbell, the father of modern mythology in his wonderful book and television series called The Power of The Myth, spoke about how rites of passage and other rituals clearly marked initiation in days and cultures gone by.
Since we have few blatant initiations into manhood or womanhood, we often don't realize we have entered or need to enter a new phase of life. Sometimes we need something to help us understand it is time to move on or to make a major change.
The calls and letters I receive most often these days are cries for help and usually at some level what the cry is asking for is assistance in being initiated. I hear from people who have lost their vision or their way, from people who are tired and from people who are craving a reconnection to their heart and soul. They are seeking what's next. They are seeking an initiation.
And initiation into what? Into more of life. We seem hungry to live life differently, to feel more alive and more inspired, to reconnect to our passion, to our hopes and our desires. Sometimes we may seek out the initiatory process, but often it seeks us. Something starts to push from the inside out and simultaneously from the outside in, and eventually you can no longer live the life you have been living. Then what?
You can try to run, hide, lie to yourself or others, cry, or go to sleep. It doesn't go away. What is necessary at this point is an awakening. I've experienced several exciting and difficult initiations in the last few years. I completed a major training program, fell in love, published a book, had surgery, ended a love relationship, closed a business and moved to a new city.
What makes these experiences initiations and different from everyday life, is that they profoundly change us. We see and experience life very differently after each experience. We learn from them, and hopefully often share what we have learned with others. We become students and we become teachers.
Angeles Arrien, author of The Four-Fold Way, Signs of Life and several other books, explains that in the Basque culture where she grew up, their initiation into adulthood required doing a walking meditation for one year and in complete silence through the Pyrenees mountains. When they returned, they would share their insights and what they learned with the Elders in the community. The initiation required learning and teaching.
Often the biggest initiations, the occurrences that can change or affect us the most, are done by or with the guidance of other people, people who know and understand things that we don't. Hopefully, these are people who we trust, so we can get vulnerable and ultimately changed by the experience.
I moved to San Francisco because I knew it was time for me to "wake up." Although I had been very successful in my previous marketing business, every single day it became more and more evident to me that something was missing and what was missing was the "truth."
I had a sense that everything I knew and believed was somehow limiting, but it was like finding out that the world was round after a lifetime of knowing without any doubt, that it was flat. Everything I knew somehow felt off-track. There was no proof of this and certainly no one is my sphere of friends that could help me explore and come to understand this. So I moved to California.
In San Francisco you can pretty much find any resource imaginable. I didn't know exactly what I was looking for, but the most critical skill in preparing for any initiation is developing your ability to trust your judgment or intuition. This I did have. We will explore later how you can deepen and further develop your own intuition.
The benefits of having a more open heart include questioning and understanding who I am and who I am not, deeply feeling compassion and love, speaking clearly and learning how to be still and even sometimes silent. I continue to learn and grow, and am relieved to know that I have my entire life to practice. From this place, I can relax a little, choose to be of service and give generously to others.
My process and practices include journal writing, drawing, meditation and prayer, retreats, silence and fasting, breathwork, dreamwork, movement and other ancient and modern pathways into the unconscious. It began with a sense that I desperately needed something, something that would pop me through into another way of living and being. Later, I came to realize what I needed was to be initiated and reconnected with my soul. And it's not a onetime shot. Over a period of a lifetime, we can open up to so much more. We can open to ourselves and to life and then, life is different and so are we.
I couldn't know that's what I needed until I began to wake up, which is what this book is designed to help you do. These are some of the tools I use. You may choose to use these and others. It doesn't matter. There's no wrong way. What's important is that you have decided it's time for you to live life more fully.
I will introduce you to some areas to explore and you will know what's right for you. This is the beginning of your initiation into a more joyful, loving and inspired life. This begins your initiation into being a dreamer and knowing that Life Is But A Dream.
LIFE IS BUT A DREAM
Wise Techniques for an Inspirational Journey
CHAPTER 1 — BEING A DREAMER
"All human beings are also dream beings. Dreaming ties all mankind together."
Jack Kerouac, American writer
At different times in our life, things happen that make us stop, feel and actually change the way we are thinking and living. A single incident, interaction or insight, is sometimes all it takes. And out of that experience, from that moment forward, everything, including us, is somehow different.
When my life became a little too overwhelming, I took myself away on a quiet retreat.Inspired by the beautiful scenery and the peace I found, I took a long walk to the top of a nearby mountain. Then I got this great idea. I decided to create a ritual where through visualization and meditation, I could surround myself with many of the awesome women that I admire. They included my mother and grandmother, my eighth grade English teacher, Mother Teresa and Eleanor Roosevelt, to name a few. Each one had a special gift or message for me that I either heard, felt or thought about. It was wonderful!
After a few hours, I completed the ceremony and as I descended the mountain I felt the spirit, love and energy of each woman within me. I was elated and felt like a queen. Returning to the retreat center, I collapsed exhausted into a hammock and slept deeply through the night.
The next morning I awoke abruptly at 6:00am. It was August 25th. How do I remember the date? It was the day of my debut on The Oprah Winfrey Show. Panic set in. Would they like me? Did I do it right? I told myself there would be a direct correlation between how I did and how many books were sold. Before I knew it, I was sobbing uncontrollably.
I clearly saw and felt how I had lived my entire life out of my need for approval and recognition by others. I saw how in a moment and with a single thought, I could go from feeling like a queen to feeling like an ant. That realization became a moment of truth. "No more," I declared. I would not continue to live my life that way. I would learn to honor myself.
Insight and initiation are so powerful and impact us so deeply because we don't just realize something "in our head." This decision I made about my life was not just a nice idea. I so deeply felt both my glory and my pain, and was so present for the experience, that it actually changed who I am, choices that I make and how I live my life.
When you feel it is time for an initiation into a new way of living, you can use the following map or process. First, set an intention for what it is you want or what you are seeking. This shows you are willing and wanting. Then declare what you want. Declaring your intention or sharing your dream definitely gets the energy moving. Next, take action. This demonstrates that you are serious about your intention and taking action solidifies your commitment. And after all this, the final most important step is detachment. Let it go.
For years when people said to me, "Just let it go," I thought they were nuts. "Let what go, and why, and how?" I just didn't get it. You can learn to have desire and detachment co-exist in your life. Although at first this may sound contradictory, you are actually setting into play a dynamic energetic force. Set a clear intention for what you want and then release it so it can unfold naturally. In the next chapter I will show you why it is essential to understand this often misunderstood concept and the ease and freedom detachment provides.
These four steps; intention, declaration, action and detachment, together comprise a dynamic formula for initiating and exploring a new way of living, a way filled with power, ease and grace. They will all be addressed throughout this book.
The first step in any initiation, or new beginning, is your choice to go for it. Are you willing to live a dream come true life? Your intention and willingness will set the tone and pace for everything. At a core level, this is a journey you must take yourself on, for you can only go as far as you are willing to go. And how far is that?
Are you willing to go all the way, all the way to your heart's wildest desires? Perhaps, all the way home to your own truth? Isn't that why you are reading this book? Or perhaps you are reading this because you are unwilling and seeking help.
Whether to escape, transform or transcend, to seek, grow or
explore or simply for a change of pace, something, someplace inside of you must be saying, "I want to dream" or "I want my dream" or "I am dying to have a dream and be a dreamer again."
Is there a part of you that is crying, "Take me away? Take
me away from all this reality, all these day to day "shoulds" and
"have to's." Maybe for a moment or a night or maybe, for a lifetime?"
And as a dreamer, which I know you are, you have what it takes to make this voyage. You already have the ability and your willingness will serve as the key. If you hear yourself saying "I can't," try this. Change "I can't" to "I won't." It's probably more honest. Then be willing to change "I won't," to "I will," simply by becoming willing. Again, use your volition to change "I won't" to "I will."
It might sound like this inside your head or coming out your mouth. "I know I need/want/have to make a change in my life, but I just can't. Okay, the truth is, I won't. Well perhaps I will take just one small step forward and see what happens."
Now you have actually begun your journey. Your willingness was the essential first step. It takes courage and true desire to do this, so I want to acknowledge you for saying "yes" to your needs.
You have the vehicle to make this journey. Your tank may need a little re-fueling but the gas for this trip comes cheap. It is your desire and your imagination that will give wings to your chariot and gently have you lift off. You didn't think we would just drive off when we could fly, did you?
The American poet Audre Lorde said, "Our visions begin with our desires." Your desire already exists. I hope you are feeling it as you are reading about being a dreamer, but if not, that's fine too. For now, don't think about it too much. There's no advantage or need to reconnect with any old doubts, but if they are present, it's okay.
Take care not to over-analyze your desires, for in doing so you may begin to judge them and wind up dissipating your energy. Thoughts like "I should be more motivated and I don't know what I'm doing or what I want and I can't have it anyway"...BOOM! kill the dreamer.
Focus more on your desire than on your doubt and the dream will take care of itself. You may be surprised at how easily this happens. Your doubts are not as powerful as your desires, unless you make them so. If you truly want to be a dreamer and have wonderful dreams that will inspire you and ignite passion in your life, then so be it.
Desire is a powerful force that can be used to make things happen. My friend Deena had a burning desire to reconnect with an old boyfriend. He had left her abruptly and she never got to say good-bye. Although ten years passed since they had spoken, she thought about him often and felt incomplete about the relationship. All she knew was he was now living somewhere in San Francisco.
Years passed, she married a wonderful man and moved to Los Angeles, but as crazy as it seemed, she still had a strong desire to find Patrick and complete the relationship. When she began to visit me in the Bay area, she knew it was just a matter of time.
Motivated by her desire, she used everything she had to find him. It was pretty wild to watch. It started with a harmless call to "411" where she asked "information" if they knew a popular Irish pub. They did. She called the pub and got friendly with the bartender who told her that Patrick had just left and was working for a local cab company.
Too nervous to just call him directly, for the next three years every time she came to visit, she peeked into taxis all over the city. One night a cab was stopped at a red light right in front of her and she recognized the driver. After thirteen years, there they were face to face through his taxi window. She softly said hello, asked how he was and gently touched his cheek. They spoke only for a few minutes and he drove off. But she was complete. Her dream was realized through her desire.
Never underestimate the power of your own desire and the way to ignite your passion is through your heart. Start to feel what you truly want and how you would love your life to be. Start to dream. Choose to be a dreamer and declare it. Declaration is an essential step. Clearly let yourself, others and the universe know what it is you want. This begins your initiation to discovering and living a richer life.
It's time to let your desire grow and there is no better tool for doing this than your very own imagination. The writer Joseph Joubert said, "Imagination is the eye of the soul." Allow your soul to express itself. Even if you think you might be a little rusty in this department, it doesn't take much to get the gears functioning again. Fine tune your vehicle by being aware and by being creative. Get in touch with your feelings. Take some time to dream!
The secret is to have fun. If this feels serious or overly significant, it probably means you have switched gears from imagining to thinking. Avoid thinking.
For many of us, this is easier said than done. But over time and with practice you will come to know that there is a very different way of living that doesn't require nearly the amount of thinking and efforting that many of us are accustomed to.
Remember when you were a kid or watch some children using their God given gift of imagination. There are no limits, no rules, no right or wrong ways. The reason is, kids don't have preconceived notions based on their past. Everything is new and exciting. Life is a discovery. Learn from them and give it a shot.
The two necessary ingredients for an active imagination are imaging and feeling. Actually practice seeing pictures in your mind and connecting them to your feelings and emotions. The more you feel, the more real it becomes. On a certain level, your psyche doesn't distinguish between thoughts, dreams and reality. Mark Twain was right when he said, "We can achieve what we can conceive and believe."
Here's a chance to practice. If you could be anywhere, doing anything with anyone, where would you be? If you had unlimited resources, including all the time and money you needed, what would you do? Who's living the life you dream of living? If you could order off the "a la carte" menu of life, what would you have?
Imagine the "you" you've dreamt of being. Where do you live, how do you look and feel, who are your friends and loved ones? What do you do to fill your days, your life? What do you imagine for yourself, your community, your country, the world?
If you've never thought about this before, now is an excellent time to start. Imagine your life, your loves, your body and soul, being nurtured beyond your wildest dreams. Imagine a world that works and one reason is because you have a dream, like the great dreamer Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., that the world would look and function a certain way.
You can play this imagination game at any level. Pump up your muscles and develop yourself as a dreamer by using your imagination to dream big dreams. Don't worry. Coming back to reality is the easy part. The English poet William Blake reminds us, "What is now proved, was once only imagined." It seems to be in the area of dreaming that we need practice.
Notice what your mind and those noisy little voices in your head are saying as you dream and as you imagine what you want. What are you thinking as you are imagining your heart's desire? Do you hear your mom saying, "You're thinking about doing what?" or perhaps dad yelling, "How do you expect to pay the rent doing that?" Or do you hear the booming voice of society saying, "Dreamers live with their heads in the clouds. Get real!"
Pablo Picasso said, "Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up." I recently gave a keynote speech to the Parents and Teachers Association, the PTA. I see the importance of influencing our next generation of dreamers and I was curious to hear what parents were telling their kids about the future and their dreams.
I heard a young girl about the age of nine, tell her father that her dream was to be a teacher. Over the past years I've heard many parents respond with concern to this dream, saying things like, "There's no money in that field" or "You'll never get a job."
I was so pleased to hear this father tenderly say, "How wonderful that you have chosen to help so many. I know you'll be a fabulous teacher." His daughter lit up. Her dream was heard. Someone believed in her, which made her dream real and made it very safe for her to be a dreamer. What a precious gift.
Let's face it, most of us are not taught to dream, but rather to be realistic. What has this cost us? I'm not even sure what "realistic" means anymore. Many use the word "realistic" like a pair of handcuffs, keeping them chained to some unexplored limitation.
At 38 years old, most people, especially a man, might think it unrealistic to begin a career as a professional dancer. But not Don. It was a dream he had for a long time and he felt ready, so he called Ron Guidi, the artistic director for the Oakland Ballet in California. Ron said he loved Don's moxie, and talent and guts usually went hand in hand. He agreed to let Don audition.
Don was great, so Ron told him the reality of his situation. If Don would practice and train six hours a day, six days a week, in six months he could go on stage with the ballet. Ron also told him that realistically, he would have much greater opportunities and success as a dancer in musicals. This thrilled Don and was the beginning of his professional dance and theatrical career. In this case, their conversation about being realistic created more opportunities rather than more limitations.
Don differs from dreamers who are actually day-dreamers or wishful thinkers because he took action. The distinction is they have been told so often or have come to believe they can't have their dreams, that they now live in a fantasy world, never planning how to make their dreams happen, mostly discontent. Most day-dreamers never take any substantial action on their dreams. This is how you can spot them.
Some believe they have a dream to hold on to. This is often worse than not having a dream at all, since it can set them off on a delusion of grandeur, a search for a treasure that never existed or that they never intended to obtain.
As we wake up, we start to remember or to realize that not only is being a dreamer (different from one who fantasizes) a great way of living, but it is essential for us to be joyful and fulfilled human beings. And with this realization, we make the commitment to be the kind of dreamers that we were destined to be.
One of the critical skills for being a dreamer is to have expectations. It seems over the years, having expectations has somehow gotten a "bum rap." We've been told that it's not good to
expect too much and many of us have been trained to believe that expectations lead to disappointment. I was one of those people.Often at a very young age, traumatic things happen in our lives that shape our core beliefs about our dreams and about our expectations. In my own life, the year that I was born, my older sister lost her hearing. On top of that, my mother's sister was diagnosed with a terminal illness and shortly after that, her father died.
It must have been devastating for my mother and although I was too young to remember, I'll bet that one of the choices she made at that time in her life, was to protect me and make sure no harm would come to her baby. That choice had many repercussions.
For many of us, as we grew up, one of our strongest and loudest teachings was, "Don't have any expectations and you won't be disappointed." Although our parents' intentions may have been to protect us, this became the foundation for some of our biggest limiting beliefs and tremendous amounts of fear.
Everytime we started to have a dream or an opportunity surfaced for something special or big in our life, our fear of disappointment kicked in and often immobilized us. Sometimes we avoided the opportunity and sometimes we unknowingly sabotaged the dream because of our terrifying fear of the disappointment.
Once we begin to actually see how this fear impacts us and the pattern that is in play, we can try on a new behavior or explore a new belief. Here's the secret for expanding your capacity to trust and try something new. Since we choose our beliefs, we can choose to believe that which will empower and move us forward, or that which will impede and hold us back.
I just love Mark Twain, so forgive me for quoting him again. He so accurately said, "If you think you can or if you think you can't, you're probably right." Realizing that you can choose what you believe (regardless of your life experiences) can be the biggest and most significant turning point of your life.
Can you see how your fear around expectations and disappointment can keep you in relationships that are dead end, afraid you won't find someone better? Or, can you see how this same belief may keep you from fully expressing all of yourself, out of the fear of having your partner or friends leave or people not like you? How has this fear kept you in a job or career that's not rewarding? Do you see how your unwillingness to expect the best or even anything wonderful, is costing you your dreams?
It takes time and practice, but you can begin the process of changing your limiting beliefs, here and now. I did this by learning to recognize when I was afraid of being disappointed and I developed the capacity inside myself to hear when "that" voice was talking to me. I used "Post-it" notes around the house to reinforce a new belief and tried alternative ways of responding to that old limiting voice. I changed my belief from "life will disappoint me" to "life is filled with miracles."
With this belief, you begin to live a very different life. If you no longer expect life to disappoint you, in one very real way it no longer will. This doesn't mean we never get disappointed. It's actually our relationship to disappointment that shifts. Sometimes we no longer "get stopped" by the fear or possibility of being disappointment. And often, we actually do experience far less disappointment in life.
As the fear lessens and releases some of it's grip, we can explore other options and begin to see and understand deeper aspects about ourselves. You may even come to realize that your relationship to disappointment is a necessary skill to develop, in order to be a dreamer. Consider this. If we are never disappointed, we are not being dreamers, we are being realists. In other words, we are playing it safe.
When we expect to have our dreams come true or are not stopped by the fear of being disappointed, our eyes are peeled. We go out in the world with our heads held high looking for that which we desire. We go to the places and do the things we want to do, expecting to enjoy ourselves and we can take personal responsibility for the fulfillment and the disappointment of our expectations. To expect your dreams to come true is to believe in your dreams and yourself. To expect your dreams to come true is to have faith.
What are you expecting from life? Take a look at what you want in the areas of love, health, money, career, friends and lifestyle. Are you expecting to have a long healthy life, filled with passion and good times or are you expecting in some way to be shortchanged and disappointed?
The proper use of your expectations is a great way to deepen your desire. Focus on what it is you want, all of it. Use your imagination to elaborate, to visualize and see your dreams and fully expect your dreams to happen. Expect to live your dreams and expect the daily miracles of life to give you the evidence that you are doing this masterfully.
And practice letting it all go. Having clarity about what you want along with your expectations, will generate "juice" for you. Obsessing over it will drain you. Expect and let it go by relaxing, breathing, believing and trusting.
THE DARK SIDE OF EXPECTATIONS
We can't look honestly at expectations unless we also examine and consider where they don't work. Expectations can be ineffective and even dangerous when we are not honest about them.
Sometimes we want and expect something so badly that our perception becomes skewed. My friend Barbara is a successful business executive with a Fortune 500 company. She's been able to make many things happen for herself and others, but right now more than anything, she wants to be in love. Barb always knew exactly what she wanted from her mate. She had lots of pictures and even more expectations.
One day she met a special man. When he spoke to her, he said all the right things and very quickly, she decided "he was the one."
As the relationship developed, he said and more importantly did, many things that were incongruous with who she thought he was. She began to compromise on her dream and on her needs. She continued to view him through her expectations rather than see who he actually was.
Eventually she ended the relationship and felt a tremendous amount of disappointment and heartache. She thought maybe she had expected too much and began to doubt that she would ever meet the man of her dreams. As we discussed what actually happened, it became apparent that the only thing she did wrong was lose touch with reality. She so badly wanted this to be "it," for this love to be "real," that she stopped seeing the truth. She got lost in illusory expectations.
After the pain of finally seeing what happened, she took a bold step forward in her life. She revisited her expectations regarding her dream relationship, checked in and decided that this was still her dream, it was still what she wanted. As a matter of fact, she even added some additional qualities and expectations, based on what she had learned from the relationship that ended. Although she is not in a new relationship yet, this experience allowed her to reclaim a part of herself that she lost when she stopped being true to herself.
When we want something so badly, we may be unwilling or unable to see what is actually happening. I can't stress this enough. The power of your expectations only works when you are completely honest with yourself and others. You must be truthful not only about your expectations, but also about the reality of what is happening in your life.
How we use our expectations or our fear of disappointment, is probably one of the most debilitating factors in being a dreamer. We have all had disappointments in our life, but each of us deals with them in our own positive or negative way.
DEALING WITH FAILURE
Many of us are stopped by our unmet or unfulfilled expectations. It just has become too painful to have our dreams not work out the way we wanted and hoped, or not at all. Often the decision is to abandon the dream, and for some, to stop having dreams completely. This is often reflected in the futility or resignation associated with day-dreaming.
Can you imagine being disappointed by the failure or demise of one of your dreams and actually using that experience as the inspiration to deepen your commitment to your dream and the way you live life? Do you know it is possible to use failure as a tool or as a teacher, as a way to practice and learn, and to continue to have your expectations and your dreams?
The musician Miles Davis said, "Do not fear mistakes. There are none." Failure or disappointment is a chance for you to check in and make important decisions. Do you still desire your dream and in spite of apparent setbacks, do you still fully expect it to happen? Check in and see if this is perhaps a childhood dream or someone else's dream for you. Will it honor you more to release it? Is the failure of this dream somehow protecting something or is the potential failure of this dream the lesson itself? Is this a dream that your ego is craving or that your soul and spirit desires? Do you know the difference?
In The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying, Sogyal Rinpoche says, "Two people have been living in you all of your life. One is the ego, garrulous, demanding, hysterical, calculating; the other is the hidden spiritual being, whose still voice of wisdom you have only rarely heard or attended to."
This is worth exploring. I can't give you easy one, two, three answers or directions here. This is the journey of a true dreamer. To seek and ask and listen and seek some more, truly is the path. There is a time to demand and there is a time to surrender. Learn both and you will come to know yourself.
And along the way you get to ask yourself the most important question of all. Are you still committed to having your dream come true, to fulfilling your heart's desire, or is it time for another dream? Is this about accomplishing THE dream or can life be about living, learning and growing through your dreams and failures?
It takes courage to keep going and maturity to know when not to. This is your life that you are designing. Whether you keep going on this dream or create new ones, are you willing to practice using your life's experiences as the path to open your heart, to feel more deeply and passionately what you want and to really live?
Be honest with yourself throughout the entire process. Notice what you are thinking and feeling. See what actions you are taking or not taking. Keep checking in with the reality of what's happening and use your expectations to continually re-fuel your desires and move you forward.
Learn the power of expectations. By breaking through the fear of disappointment or unmet expectations, you will be living your life at a whole new level and at a new standard. Life's daily experiences, even the painful ones, become magnificent opportunities to fully express yourself, your dreams and a way of living that few have tasted, but you can come to know.
Use your expectations to whet your appetite, to get your mouth watering and your tastebuds going. Expect your life to be a dream come true and be prepared for a feast, regardless of what the menu offers.
Sometimes the experience begins by stopping where you are and emptying out. So stop for a moment, take a long slow breath and ask yourself, "Am I ready to become a dreamer, am I ready to live a more loving, joyful and fulfilling life?"
If your answer is yes, let's begin now. If your answer is no, explore why and use your reasons as the opportunity to get to know yourself, your beliefs and what matters to you. And consider this book part of your research in saying, "yes."
Either way, let's find your dreams, let's discover what makes your heart sing and let's play there.
1. Initiation is about beginning something new, including a new way of living.
2. The four steps of initiation include: intention — to be willing and wanting, declaration — writing and speaking about what you want, action — doing something about it and detachment — letting go of it.
3. Willingness is essential in any initiation or in making any dream come true. "I can't" often means "I won't." You can change "I won't" to "I will" with willpower. Practice this.