"The universe is made of stories, not of atoms."
—Muriel Rukeyser

Washington Post's Mensa Invitational Winners ...

The  Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to  take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding,  subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new  definition.   

    1.  Cashtration (n.): The  act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially  impotent for an indefinite period of time. 

2.  Ignoranus: A  person who's both stupid and an asshole.

3.  Intaxicaton: Euphoria  at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your  money to start with.

4.  Reintarnation: Coming  back to life as a hillbilly.

5.  Bozone (n.): The  substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from  penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of  breaking down in the near future.

6.  Foreploy: Any  misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting  laid 

7. Giraffiti: Vandalism  spray-painted very, very high.

8.  Sarchasm: The  gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who  doesn't get it.

9.  Inoculatte: To  take coffee intravenously when you are running  late.

10.  Osteopornosis: A  degenerate disease. (This one got extra  credit)

11.  Karmageddon: It's  like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes,  right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious  bummer.

12.  Decafalon (n):The  grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things  that are good for you.

13.  Glibido: All  talk and no action.

14.  Dopeler Effect: The  tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you  rapidly.

15.  Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The  frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked  through a spider web.

16.  Beelzebug (n.): Satan  in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in  the morning and cannot be cast out

17.  Caterpallor (n.): The  color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're  eating.

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